Postal

I'm really about to go postal.

I'm really about to go postal.

You know, I'm actually a pretty sensitive person. I'm not always so stable. I've had my share of therapy and freak out periods in life.

But really, now I'm about to go postal.

I got called for jury duty a month ago or so, and I had to show up today. I showed up at 8 AM. At 11 I was assigned to a judge, but then I was told to go on recess for 2h15m. At 1:30 the Jury Manager finally returns from lunch and takes us to the court room.

And I was called in the first round of juror interviews. I'm in the jury box for a four week trial.

I quit my job in two weeks.

I start my new job two Mondays from today.

The recruiter said the job would rescind the offer if I couldn't start on the date they need me. I already gave notice at my old job, and they hired my replacement. I'm supposed to train my replacement on work that ONLY I KNOW HOW TO DO. Really. The judge didn't buy it. He said a 250+ person company has people who can replace me, but I work for a non-profit. They don't know the work I do. I'm the only one on my team. The new hire started today. He did HR training, but tomorrow is a different story.

Meanwhile, I have a new job starting in two weeks. TWO weeks.

I'm really about to go postal.

Pregnancy.
Miscarriage.
D&C.
ER visit having driven myself.
Job interviews.
Offers.
Negotiation.
Resignation.
DD gets sick; a fever for 6 full days.
I miss the team retreat.
DH is heading out of town ON MY LAST DAY OF WORK THROUGH THE FIRST WEEK OF MY NEW JOB.
And now this.

And DD woke up this morning in a pool of partially crusty, partially soft VOMIT. It must have been a few hours old -- there were dry chunks, like dry stove top stuffing pieces.

I really feel like it never ends. I know other people have it worse, but really, we're into March and things are supposed to get better.

At the moment, there's not enough valium to make me feel better. I'm ... I'm just ... I'm just numb.

(I did knit the entire leg and heel with the Cake yarn while waiting for the fucking goddamned jury thing. I think I'm going to rip and reknit on smaller needles. It's too loose.)