I'm scared, or this is why I don't have in-person friends...

I added Bells to my blog list. We have nice little community going: Julie, Amy, Bells, Netter, Needletart (what's her real name? someone must know). And others (I'm not meaning to exclude anyone).

the list is growing into a nice little bundle. Part of me wishes we could get together in person. What a nice S&B we'd have, what with Amy's colorful stories and my dead-pan humor (few people ever recognize when I'm actually joking; I'm queen of deadpan).

Anyway, the problem is that my list is growing (yes, this is a problem). I have X hours of the day to read blogs (rather, read "minutes," not hours). It's hard maintaining a relationship. It takes time. It takes effort. It takes devotion and love and fuel and adoration. My college advisor (who would be fired if the university knew the kinds of things I learned from him...no, no, not sexual but definitely illicit) would wax forever about how difficult it was to maintain friendships. He equated friendships to love relationships (he was monogamous as far as I know; I love and adore his wife). But his point was that friends take energy just as your mate takes energy. It takes time and attention and focus to maintain friendships. Which is why I have so few.

I have that for each of the bloggers in my sidebar. But oh my oh my oh my, I don't have that much time to grow the list, even if I'd like to!

This post has no real point except to say I like the little community I share with all of you. If I don't comment or post or reach out as much as I should, it's not because I don't think about you. It's just too darned hard to maintain that relationship.

Thank goodness for marital monogamy. Blog monogamy is an oxymoron, but really, I have to cap it. ;)

XO

Eye Candy

I finally have some eye candy, captured before the camera battery died (and now I need to plug in the laptop before the laptop dies...one moment, please)...

OK, back in business.

So eye candy. Long, overdue eye candy. If this were real candy, it'd be moldy and rancid, but luckily it's just eye candy...or cake.


Here, in luscious yarn and sweet colors are Cake Walk Socks and Cake Walk Jr Socks. Netter, I have to say that I thought this yarn was the softest yarn I had ever knit with, but then I washed the socks. The result was yarn so soft it made my mouth drop. Along with the colors making me drool, that's not such a great combination (I had to sop up the spittle from the floor, but luckily we have hardwood floors).

Anyway, DD won't take these off her feet. In fact, I haven't washed them yet because she won't take them off. I ended up having enough yarn for all pairs, but I topped Cake Walk Jr with a perfect purple from Amy 1) because I wasn't sure I'd have enough yarn, and 2) DD loves purple. The purple yarn matches almost perfectly; it's dark in just a few places, but otherwise it's a perfect match.

These are also my first toe-up socks, and I have fallen in love with toe-up socks. I don't know why, but I have. In fact, I love toe-up so much that I'm playing with taking leg-down socks and knitting them in reverse. I'm trying it with jaywalkers first, but I don't see any reason why it wouldn't work with other socks also. You just have to play around with the heel and toe, but otherwise, it's pretty straightforward. The only time I think it would be problematic is if you knit knee socks with decreases and increases along the calf. But it could be figured out, I'm sure.

I also owe tribute to Amy for her happy package that came when I was sick and brought a little sunshine into my day. Here is the full stash (sorry for the dark picture) -- more than I ever expected. There's Electric Kool-Aid Acid Trip yarn (or tie dye) along with bits and pieces of solids. There are two full skeins, "unopened" of Lorna's Laces, and the purple is also Lorna's. And the crowning jewel is the Sock book! I can't wait to dive in and get my hands on some of these patterns. Pure delight.

And, because I'm behind in my posts and pictures, and because it's my blog, a little out-dated DD and DH eye candy. Happy day.

Thanks

Thanks for all your suggestions. I decided to rip and try the jaywalkers. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Heidi, STR is Socks That Rock from Blue Moon Fibers. It's one of my favorite yarns, though it's thicker than others (like Lorna Laces), so you have to pick carefully.

I actually cast on for the smallest JayWalker size on size 2.0 mm needles (smaller needles than the pattern calls for). The cuff seems big, but then again I know that the cuff shrinks as you knit further down the sock. So, I'm going to continue and see how they turn out. I knit a pair of jaywalkers for my mom using Schaeffer (sp?) yarn, and they were slightly too small for me. So, maybe the thicker STR yarn and resulting slightly larger sock will work.

I'm actually posting from work! I think I'm easing into the job and feeling more comfortable taking a minute or two to do some personal things.

As an aside, we're on a really tight project and had the vendor in town for 3 days. So, I had a series of really long days and no personal time. Now that they're gone, I'm feeling more relaxed (and now have spring fever in the worst way, which is really bad when you're on a behind-schedule project).

Glad to be (somewhat) back!!

Pooling

Argh!

I picked up the needles yesterday on the train after a long time of not knitting (I finished DD's socks, which she wears DAILY!, but I haven't picked up the needles since). I cast on to make Nancy Bush's Child's Socks from Knitting Vintage Socks (love the book) using a STR yarn I've had for almost a year and that I absolutely LOVE.

I'm about 3" into the sock, and the yarn is pooling BADLY! As in, there's NO striping whatsoever. It's big oil spill pools of color that are pooling through the fabric.

I HATE pooling!

The question I have is ...

* if I switch to smaller needles, would that really impact the pooling? It's seriously so bad, that I think knitting this pattern even on smaller (or larger) needles won't fix it.

* do I have to make a smaller sock? Really, a larger sock would work for a man. I'm not even sure this sock will fit me right. But a smaller sock might make the striping work. Thing is, I LOVE this yarn. A smaller sock would be for DD, and while I love her and will go to the ends of the earth for her, I'm a selfish, hoarding person. ;) Seriously, I have wanted this yarn for myself for the past year, have knit it several times, only to rip and wait for the right pattern. I'm a bit frustrated with it. Maybe it's the yarn -- maybe it just won't work for my sized socks.

Any thoughts??

PS - HOW DOES YH get such pretty stripes!!!! ARGH!!!

Woefully behind

on all my blogging, reading, knitting, etc.

12 hour days.

Should come to an end soon.

Missing my knitting friends. I'll be back soon!!

OK, OK, UNCLE!

as in "Amy! Call off the Goddess. Please, Call. Off. THE. GODDESS!!!!"

Amy's Goddess let me recover enough from food poisoning last Sunday to then enjoy a new illness starting Tuesday afternoon -- a pretty dreadful upper respiratory infection that at the moment doesn't seem to be responding to antibiotics. Luckily my three-day 102F fever is gone, but I'm feeling dreadful.

Here are a few of ironies with these illnesses --

1. Appetite and hunger.
I've lost both my appetite and my sense of hunger. I actually can't really feel any hunger pains at all. I thought it was just the food poisoning, but now I don't know. Maybe it's the meds for this infection.

Why ironic?

Well what woman wouldn't want to lose her appetite?? Me, who has a secret "binge monster" who has to be kept at bay. Me, who has battled a voluptuous hind-end all my life. Me, who can eat at the drop of a hat even if I've just ate.

But you know, it has some awful side-effects. Chronic low blood sugar is painful. It gives me the shakes. It makes my eyeballs hurt with an intense eye strain feeling (yup, I've traced it down to food). I get dizzy! Dizzy!! It's not fun.


2. Sleep.
I want to do nothing but sleep. I've probably slept more in the last few days than I have in the last two months combined. (OK, I haven't lost my sense of hyperbole.) I sleep for hours on end and wake up exhausted. Maybe I'm sleeping too much, and I probably do need to get some exercise (as in walking outside the house, not as in whipping out my dusty Jane Fonda rip-off vids). But I can barely walk from my bedroom to the kitchen much less do anything else, so I'm at a bit of a loss about how to get it back to normal.

Ironic? Yup. Remember, I'm the sleep queen. I love to sleep. Love it, love it, love it. But right now I hate it. I can't seem to do anything but sleep yet I can't get enough.


3. Spare time.
I have a lot of spare time. DH is caring for DD pretty constantly. I suspect this will result in a few months of marriage counseling because DH has had to take on the full burden of child rearing (joke). I canceled my trip to my sister's this weekend (a 4-day trip) and had all day Friday off. I have tons of free time, but I'm too sick to do anything. Even knit. Even read. Even watch tv. Yup, I haven't watched any tv through this. I've just been in bed.

Irony? Well who doesn't want free time? Who doesn't want some time away from the kiddies? Time free from others to just do what you want? But it's really only enjoyable when you can do what you want. Lying in bed in pain is not something I want to do with my free time.

And not only that, it's only fun when others aren't having MORE fun than you. DH took DD to the circus today, and I couldn't possibly go. I've been horizontal since they left, and I'm only now vertical (3 hours later). This is DD's first trip to the circus, and it's killing me I can't be there with her and DH.

Now I'm pouting. ;(


I could probably come up with some more, but I'm doing pretty good getting this much out. I'm way behind on knitting news and thanks to the wonderful, colorful, generous community around me. I'm behind on pics. My blog has become a space for whining and moaning, not knitting. And yet it's ONLY supposed to be about things purled, knitted, etc etc.

So, here's some belated knitty news --

* I am *so remiss* in posting pics of Cake Walk, but I had enough left over to make a matching pair for DD. So mom and daughter will actually have something that matches. Well, almost. I wasn't sure I'd have exactly enough for two socks for DD, so I topped the socks with purple. Most of the variagated purple yarn matches *perfectly* and it's only too dark in a couple of places.

So, I owe Netter pics of two pairs of socks and WAY LONG OVERDUE package of thanks. I may be late, but I won't miss sending it all together. So sorry, Netter!


* I am also *so remiss* in thanking Amy for her luscious package! In fact, I have an horrible admission -- the package arrived when I was getting sick. I wrote Amy to thank her for the package but I hadn't actually opened the package when I wrote her. Shame on me. My thanks *was* heartfelt, but I didn't know just how generous she had been. I owe her and the blog pics of the spoils. I was planning to take all pics today, but today is worse than yesterday, so I'm happy just posting.

In any case, Amy deserves a huge thank you for delicious sock yarn, enough to go in a blanket or to make cute socks for DD and baby friends. In fact, the purple yarn I used in DD's Cake Walk socks came from Amy. Yup, I cast on before I could grab a pic of the stash, so I will include the socks with the pics.

But it doesn't stop there. Amy also sent a copy of More Sensational Knitted Socks! I have been craving new sock books for months, and Amy was kind enough to indulge. I can't wait to try the patterns, and I can't wait to learn how to make alterations to the socks. I've fallen in love with toe-up socks and can now knit simple ribbed socks without a pattern. But this will really help me learn how to make some neat socks. Thank you, Amy! I am so sorry for taking so long to thank you.


OK, I'm off to go rest. I'm actually drinking a diet coke. Hopefully the fizz will help my stomach, and the caffeine will help my head. We'll see.

You Are 76% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul. You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at high risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is very likely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at high risk for having a social phobia. It is very likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

Thanks Knittech

Your Deadly Sins

Lust: 80% Gluttony: 60% Greed: 60% Pride: 60% Wrath: 60% Envy: 40% Sloth: 40% Chance You'll Go to Hell: 57% You'll die from overexertion. *wink*

How Sinful Are You?

Things your child should never say to you

"Mommy, big girls poop on the trash can?"

"No, sweetheart. Sick girls poop on the trash can when Daddy is sick in our only bathroom."

It was not a fun weekend. Of course, we're recovering now that it's time to go back to work. Waaaaaaaa ;(

Luckily DD didn't get the food poisoning that DH and I did. We think it came from some uncooked green onions. We're eating a lot of processed foods now and avoiding fresh veggies for awhile. Those slimy bacteria are better outside of my body, not in it. I don't recommend having Gatorade as your day's only meal. It's not a meal replacement.

I love my bed

When DH and I were first together and just SOs (significant others), we joked that the only reason I was with him was for the queen sized bed. I earned the nickname "Sleep Queen" because I LOVE the bed. Love it, love it, love it. And with our brand new mattress, going to bed feels like falling in a creamy pool of chocolate mousse. It's glorious, delicious, dreamy, and just utterly engulfing.

A good night's sleep will do wonders. That along with a lot of hard thinking and self-coaching. I went to bed last night and woke up this morning thinking that the angst and self doubt I felt at 5 pm yesterday needs to be replaced with a skin of steel and the power of an army tank.

I've also come to realize that any new job is hard because I have no context. Particularly, I have no notion of the history of the projects, the work, the people, the issues, the struggles, etc. In my current job, I have no idea of the history of this project I'm on. I don't know what came before or what is coming after. On top of that, I have NO FRIGGIN IDEA of the domain to begin with.

So, I am forgiving myself of any errors or slowness or density I seem to have at work. I hope my boss and coworkers will forgive me, too, but that's their problem, not mine (at least at the moment).

What I really need to focus on right now is coaching myself into not taking barbs personally, even if they're meant that way. I need to be a man: turn the tables and point out how the asshats contributed to the current situation. I will accept blame when it's deserved, but rarely are errors ONE person's fault. It's a collective development.

Thanks everyone for your encouragement! It's so interesting to me how virtual support can go a long way. Thanks Amy for the appropriate label (asshats -- ROTFL), and thanks everyone for the perspective.

Not into knitting

Uh oh. I knew it would happen -- I'm out of knitting right now.

"Out of knitting" means two days. For the past two days I've worked on the train and at night; I've not knit. Work is heating up, and I'm feeling lost. It feels like my boss and coworkers are looking at me like, "Produce or get out. We hired you in at a senior level. Don't you know what you're doing? Do it. As Nike says, 'Just do it.' But do it NOW."

And me? Well, I *do* know what I'm doing. I *am not* entry level. I don't know if I'm old enough to be senior, but it is in my title, after all. And I earned that senior title, not just because of years but because of experience.

I feel defensive. I have excuses. But not just excuses...I have responses.

- I don't know this domain.
- The previous work is really fragmented. The entire structure is fragmented. I can work with that, but I need to know the parameters.
- I came in and my boss "oriented me" to X. Come to find out, I'm producing Y! I didn't discover that until LAST FRIDAY! My final work is due NEXT FRIDAY! No one told me that until TODAY! And I asked that question my first week!

I'm NOT a finger-pointer! I don't look for scape goats. When it comes to my mistakes, I call a spade a spade. Think of all the similar cliches, and I use them, especially when it comes to blaming myself. But, I don't accept blame where blame isn't due.

It's hard to determine that sometimes, and even hard to get others (particularly those in the seat opposite you) to accept it.

Anyway, work is my focus. I knew it would happen. I've blogged about it before. How do you have a full-time, engaging, demanding career, kids, a household, pets, a life AND blog AND knit all at the same time? I dunno. I haven't figured it out.

But right now, wireframes are my knitting. Sorry guys. I'll be back...probably in a day or so.

As for knitty news, I finished Cake Walk and am waiting for some sun (and free time) to take pics. BTW, Amy and all you Southerners and West Coasters, we have fucking snow today. Fucking SNOW! Anyway, that's not knitty. I finished Cake Walk Socks and wore them. I started a matching companion pair for DD.

Lost reruns are on, and I'm drinking beer instead of knitting. Decompression.

from trash to treasure

Knitted Trash