Sunday, April 29, 2007

I'm scared, or this is why I don't have in-person friends...

I added Bells to my blog list. We have nice little community going: Julie, Amy, Bells, Netter, Needletart (what's her real name? someone must know). And others (I'm not meaning to exclude anyone).

the list is growing into a nice little bundle. Part of me wishes we could get together in person. What a nice S&B we'd have, what with Amy's colorful stories and my dead-pan humor (few people ever recognize when I'm actually joking; I'm queen of deadpan).

Anyway, the problem is that my list is growing (yes, this is a problem). I have X hours of the day to read blogs (rather, read "minutes," not hours). It's hard maintaining a relationship. It takes time. It takes effort. It takes devotion and love and fuel and adoration. My college advisor (who would be fired if the university knew the kinds of things I learned from him...no, no, not sexual but definitely illicit) would wax forever about how difficult it was to maintain friendships. He equated friendships to love relationships (he was monogamous as far as I know; I love and adore his wife). But his point was that friends take energy just as your mate takes energy. It takes time and attention and focus to maintain friendships. Which is why I have so few.

I have that for each of the bloggers in my sidebar. But oh my oh my oh my, I don't have that much time to grow the list, even if I'd like to!

This post has no real point except to say I like the little community I share with all of you. If I don't comment or post or reach out as much as I should, it's not because I don't think about you. It's just too darned hard to maintain that relationship.

Thank goodness for marital monogamy. Blog monogamy is an oxymoron, but really, I have to cap it. ;)

XO

8 comments:

Faith! said...

I know what you mean. I'm painfully introverted with too-little time on my hands and an inverse proportion of solitary interests. It's tough sometimes, but your post was sweet and thoughtful and reminds me to try harder!

Netter said...

My college advisor thought that college friends were more lifetime friends than high school friends. But my college friends are mostly scattered and I've never been good maintaining a long distance friendship. I've got a long bloglines list, but I only take time to comment on a handful and I wish I commented more.

KnitTech said...

I'm the same way, it's eaiser to do blogger friends then real life ones. On the plus side, I have lots of reading time at work.

Amy Lane said...

I so know what you mean--I want to read more blogs, but my little community keeps me busy...and I've only got so many minutes in the day... (Needletart's name is Bonnie:-) Real life friends have to have visits and phone conversations and all of those things that take time and pull us out of the many, many tasks that make up the day... blog friends are part of our time at the computer--I mean, we're there anyway...why not visit? (My college adviser asked me what in the hell I was doing in his office if I was transferring to another college, then he went back to his broker...)

NeedleTart said...

Yes, (sigh) that's my real name. Someday I will post *that* story,too. Personally, I think I should be known as the Manners Avenger (I never call the kids "boys and girls" it's always "ladies and gentlemen" then I have to explain what *that* means. Sigh). As for blogger friends, the people near here just don't get the whole yarn, snarky humor thing....thanks for being there.

Heidi said...

No worries. Just stop in when you can. Wish we could S&B. Btw, I love your deadpan. My husband is the king of deadpan. Maybe it's an East Coast thing. He's from Philadelphia.

Bells said...

Rae you are so right. It's fun but time consuming maintaining an online community. I'm actually part of another online community outside blogging - am I cheating? I was actually part of the other one first and a bunch of us are having a weekend away together this month! How cool is that!

I like what Amy said (as I so often do). I'm in front of a computer ALL day at work. If I couldn't use it to have a bit of fun with friends, I'd go nuts. It makes the drudgery of the more tolerable.

As for having so many blogs to read, I actually culled my bloglines list yesterday! There are loads there that I just didn't connect with much so I cut the list down to a manageable size and already feel a lot better. When your bloglines list is starting to stress you about because you can't keep up, it's not fun anymore.

Coach Susan said...

THE INTERNET
Providing friends for the introverted since Al Gore was Vice President

I'm with you, Rae, though based on your addition of Bells' blog to your reading list, I'm tempted to add one more to my own...