Thursday, April 05, 2007

Not into knitting

Uh oh. I knew it would happen -- I'm out of knitting right now.

"Out of knitting" means two days. For the past two days I've worked on the train and at night; I've not knit. Work is heating up, and I'm feeling lost. It feels like my boss and coworkers are looking at me like, "Produce or get out. We hired you in at a senior level. Don't you know what you're doing? Do it. As Nike says, 'Just do it.' But do it NOW."

And me? Well, I *do* know what I'm doing. I *am not* entry level. I don't know if I'm old enough to be senior, but it is in my title, after all. And I earned that senior title, not just because of years but because of experience.

I feel defensive. I have excuses. But not just excuses...I have responses.

- I don't know this domain.
- The previous work is really fragmented. The entire structure is fragmented. I can work with that, but I need to know the parameters.
- I came in and my boss "oriented me" to X. Come to find out, I'm producing Y! I didn't discover that until LAST FRIDAY! My final work is due NEXT FRIDAY! No one told me that until TODAY! And I asked that question my first week!

I'm NOT a finger-pointer! I don't look for scape goats. When it comes to my mistakes, I call a spade a spade. Think of all the similar cliches, and I use them, especially when it comes to blaming myself. But, I don't accept blame where blame isn't due.

It's hard to determine that sometimes, and even hard to get others (particularly those in the seat opposite you) to accept it.

Anyway, work is my focus. I knew it would happen. I've blogged about it before. How do you have a full-time, engaging, demanding career, kids, a household, pets, a life AND blog AND knit all at the same time? I dunno. I haven't figured it out.

But right now, wireframes are my knitting. Sorry guys. I'll be back...probably in a day or so.

As for knitty news, I finished Cake Walk and am waiting for some sun (and free time) to take pics. BTW, Amy and all you Southerners and West Coasters, we have fucking snow today. Fucking SNOW! Anyway, that's not knitty. I finished Cake Walk Socks and wore them. I started a matching companion pair for DD.

Lost reruns are on, and I'm drinking beer instead of knitting. Decompression.

6 comments:

Amy Lane said...

Hey...it's okay...you'll pick up the needles when you need to. And sometimes (secret confession) I don't knit when I watch tv. I lay my head on Mate and purr. Good times.

Sorry about the snow...all I can tell you is that you have the comfort of knowing it will be 120 here for at least a month longer than it will be there. I'd say "Take No Shit" but I know you wouldn't anyway, so just stay sane, knit when you can, and don't hesitate to remind all potential asshats that you have pointy sticks and know how to use them!

NeedleTart said...

Snow here, too. So sorry about the "asshats" (Amy has such a way with words!) at work. Knit when you feel in control (and won't use them on the aforementioned a-hs).

Netter said...

I don't understand why people aren't upfront with new hires. The great thing about knitting is that it will be there for you when you're ready for it. Yarn doesn't go bad! If there were expectations of musts and shoulds with knitting it wouldn't bring so much to us.

KnitTech said...

New hire stress is a lot of fun. Course they don't see it as, you're trying to fix a broken mess. They want now. (hugs)

Congrats on the socks.

Heidi said...

I know what you're talking about. Work is a bitch. Knitting is one way to relax after work, but there are others. Sometimes you just need a beer. You'll be back....

Coach Susan said...

Wait a minute... you started the new job on March 19th. That's not even a month ago. Even senior people need to get the lay of the land! Even senior people can't really produce like senior people until they've been around 6 months or so and know the company lingo, acronyms, politics, etc. etc. etc. Don't be too hard on yourself because (personal experience speaking here) everyone else thinks you're doing a much better job than you do, especially for a new person. You'll kick the work in the butt. Maybe in slow-motion this month but in no time at all, your foot will be moving so fast no one will even see it.

And another thing, knitting ain't going anywhere. It's high stress to adapt to a new workplace. I say switch on the tube and suck down some brewskis. In a couple weeks' tv viewing, you'll be reminded why you never bothered with it much in the past. What a bunch of mindless pap. At that point, you'll turn back to your knitting with joy. It'll be like meeting your best friend at the airport when she returns from a six-month sabbatical counting mountain gorilla babies in the African jungle. Thrilling. Scintillating. Insanely happy-making. Total relief.