Tuesday, March 13, 2007

One track gal

I've been a one-track gal for quite awhile now. "One track" meaning I love black suits and little else. Meaning I follow the same routine every day. Meaning I eat the same breakfast every day. Meaning I've had one project on the needles and that's it. I have a couple of UFOs that in all likelihood won't be finished at this point (a knit skirt for DD that I'm sure will be too small next winter, for example).

This is pretty typical of my life: I have a hard time with chaos. I like order. I short-circuit when I have too many options and end up making no progress because I can't decide what to tackle. I can't see beyond clutter; my house is pretty tidy (read: not clean per se, but picked up. Don't try to eat off my floors, or even the table sometimes, as it tends to gather dust, dirt, and other various unsavory items like cat paw prints).

This has manifest in other areas, too. I limit my free-time activities because I have so little free time and if I have too many options I won't accomplish anything. For example, I haven't read in god knows how long. In fact, I joke that I don't even know how to read anymore because I just don't read anything (except blogs). It's also the case that I don't garden or workout or really do much of the things that I used to do and love so much.

What happens to our free time as we get older? I work, sure, that takes up time. I commute ... more time. And I guess it's family. DD -- a living, breathing, growing, demanding, thinking, creative, and blossoming person who I chose to bring into this world -- deserves all of the things in life that contribute to her development. And I'm responsible for providing that (within reason). So, she takes up a lot of time.

And I have to come clean on that note -- I don't spend my time providing DD with enrichment activities. It's more like,

"Sweetheart, pick up the toys before going to bed."

"C'mon lovely girl. Let's take a bath."

"No, no, cutie. Let's not pull out all of our books right now. You can pick out one for mommy to read while you sit on the potty."

"Abs [her nickname], don't pull out all the containers from th.... OK. I see. Well, let's pick them up now. Can you put... WAIT ABBY. Stop! Turn around. Come back. Bend down and pick up that lid. NO, THAT ONE RIGHT *THERE*. Yes. Ok. Good. Now put it back in the cabinet. Good. And now that one..."

In other words, chores. Preparation. Dinner. Cleaning hands. Brushing teeth. Bathing. Eating. Drinking. Playing, sure, but ... Life.

So I spend my time doing this (like so many others of us). And there's precious little for much else.

And because of my one-track nature, I knit. And I don't do much else. And now I'm feeling kind of empty. But torn at the same time because I LOVE TO KNIT!

The other day DH got really angry at me for signing up for the STR club without telling him. He said, "I'm so happy for you that you have a hobby, but really, that's a lot of money at one time."

A hobby.

A hobby??

Um, somehow I just never thought of this as a hobby. It's not a religion, but it is what I spend my free time doing. But I'm thinking I need to branch out and do other things. Like reading. Maybe even for my new job (hm, you think?).

Today I'm going to peruse new projects to add to Cake. Cake is going really well on the needles -- I'm almost completely done with sock #1 and can't wait to post a pic. But I think I want to start something new.

Oh, and I'm going to buy some books: a knitting book, Vulnerable, and some work books.


Netter said...

I totally get where you're coming from. I do occasionally take time away from knitting to read, but I scoff at calling it a hobby. I'm too obsessed about it to call it a hobby.

Amy Lane said...

Yeah...yarn is not a hobby, not at all...it's leisure time on your commute, or relaxation in a carry-all...it's productivity when everything else in your life has screeched to a smashing halt because the internet went down, or meditation in a sock. Knitting is love in every stitch, creativity when you think you're bled dry, and "I'm thinking of you when we're in different time zones can't you tell from this hat?" Our yarn is the umbilical cord that connects us to reality when the rest of the world is speculative. (And now I'm worried--what if your really don't like my book and you took your spare time to read it...)